A new year has begun and as I travel deeper into the third decade of my life, and I find myself embarking on a happiness project. Every month is devoted to a hobby or to community service, which will lead to a greater sense of happiness (as in the happiness more commonly related to life, liberty, etc). To embrace the sun light shedding the darkness that is arthritis and economic exhaustion. I'm weary of politics, the recession, and the negative onslaught of news catered by the media. Its all too much and its time to listen to my feet.
I say "listen to my feet" because I am again overweight and burdened by the excesses of my personal choices. My arthritis has changed my life, however, I opened the door to the changes and welcomed it; no, I pushed it into existence. Self-esteem is not the only victim of this joint affliction, but rather my friends, family, and extracurricular activities have suffered from a more sedentary lifestyle. It is a challenge to move about and engage in physical challenges similar to previous years of activity when every step and stride is accompanied by a sharp pain. Yet, there are people who are braver and more motivated than I am, and those who in face of worse circumstances refuse to let the darkness pervade their existences. They are commendable, whereas I am an average human being and allow my childlike mind to control most of my activities. I need to discipline myself, and I do not need the advice of others at all. So I'm going to listen to my feet as I spend each month completing my happiness project. January is the month of health and physical activity. I have spent the first part of this month wrangling in my insatiable appetite and thirst for beverages that add to my waist and thigh size. It has not been perfect, but its a start and I am pleased that I have been able to maintain some sibilance of self control. Ah at last.
Tomorrow marks the start of running again in conjunction with other physical activities. It has been too long since I last ran with relaxed posture and state of mind that only running can bring. I miss hearing the wind in my ears that is created by moving my body. I miss sweating and counting my strides, and how happy I feel after I had completed a run. I miss the joy of putting on my clothes and not feeling like I am about to pop out of them and that I can button them up without squeezing out of the top of them. I miss having normal blood circulation and the way my skin would glow after I exercised. Its going to be a hard challenge to adjust to again, but my feet will guide my actions and as long as I pay attention to my arthritis and not to people and to my anxiety, I will slowly progress back to the person I was a couple of years ago. A happy, enthusiastic, invigorated person who spent more time moving than eating or watching tv.
There is more than just physical health to tune into, this is however, a prerequisite for participation in the happiness project. Here's to tomorrow and beyond.
